Lessons: Talk to Me Clearly

Misunderstandings happen every day because often in our communication it's not what we say but how we say it that can and may be misinterpreted. Too often we say too little or in my case, too much.

Communication skills are one of the most important and powerful tools that we can develop.  A successful business owner knows the value of communicating clearly.  Developing strong communication skills is essential to building a success business and solid reputation.

Our language may be the same but often the meanings are different.

Avoiding Pitfalls
In our communication with our clients we need to be careful that we overuse "common" industry terms.  We know in the wedding world that we have our own language but for a client these terms and words might mean something else.  Even simple wedding words used in our every day communication like contract, design, planning, setup, delivery, consult, consultation, invoice, proposal, agreements may have different meanings in their world.

For me, this is something that I am consistently working on and though I've worked in the business world for 20 years, it still doesn't mean that I have it all figured out.  In fact, the other day, a client completely misunderstood a simple email response because I made assumptions.  I automatically assumed that he would understand my message which I thought was so clear. Using common wedding terms doesn't mean anything if the groom is new to the world of weddings.  What it says instead is that you are unsure about yourself.  And in this case, that was probably correct. 

Any inner uncertainty showed. It turned into one pitiful note with obvious ambiguity, over communication, and potentially confusing assumptions.  

Once again, know what you are trying to say before saying it.  We can't assume that they know our "wedding vocabulary".  We can't assume anyone is a mind reader.   Avoiding short cuts, abbreviations, insider terms is best.

Too Much Fluff

Being a woman, I tend to be gentle, flowery in my communication.

For example, when we are booked for a particular day and am not available,  I often say to the client that "I am not available as I am already "engaged to another client".  Sometimes instead of using the word engage I interchange it with committed.

But for some clients, our "flowery language" might be easily misinterpreted.  Does that mean that I am not available because I am engaged to be married on the same day of their wedding and that's why I can't do a wedding on that day?  Why couldn't I just say.  I am not available and another client has already booked our service.  Period.  Why do we find ourselves in the position that we have to make this long explanation?

The lesson is easy -  when we talk, we must be wise in our language choices.   We must be clear and choose words with care.  As a woman it is especially hard to communicate clearly because I often try and attempt to bond, comfort, appease people when I communicate.  So often, I want to please the receiver of the message, thus, I'm too quick to fill the email with "fluff" and flowery words. Like the example above, I try to let clients down gently when it's not positive news.  And it's unnecessary.  Frankly, I was using words that are meant to soothe. But every now and then, when it was best to use silence and less words, I added more confusion by using language that was too flowery.

Remember - when we speak and communicate with others, we are simply trying to tell others what is on our mind.  Let our minds speak firmly, professionally, simply, precisely.